I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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