maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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