My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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