on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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