So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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