How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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