She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
