She said her name was "party"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
