If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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