ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
