Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
