We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
