somebody snuck up and got me drunk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
