I faked an abortion last night.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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