My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
