TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
