I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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