What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
