This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
