Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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