you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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