who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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