don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is the high leading the old right now
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
