i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize