dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
