ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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