There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
