I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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