if i died would you start the facebook group?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
