i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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