im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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