Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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