well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
