My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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