just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
