Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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