"it" just moved
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.