By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"