so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
