he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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