the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
