when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im six kinds of drunk right now
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
