marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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