She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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