How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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