It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
