She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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