Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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