I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
