if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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