It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
