that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
