it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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