i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
