dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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