I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
