I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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