what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
