If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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