So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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