i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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