I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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