Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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