Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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