he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
