dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize