i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't think brook has ever known best
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
