i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
