just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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