after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
