May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
